episode 20: not a lot going on at the moment
unless of course there actually is
ok ok I know I said we’d be moving to publishing midweek this week, but my j*b had me ready to mix up a big batch of bleach martinis the past two days so here we are. TY for being cool.
Hopefully this is the first/last/only email you read before you slam that laptop shut til monday!
when setting out to write this week, I thought of this iconic instagram -
just not a lot going on at the moment ! TV fucked off last week, but the Summer of Film doesn’t start ripping in earnest for another 2-3 weeks. I’ve barely watched anything except Vanderpump since May 29! Believe me that is NOT a flex - I have only read about 10 pages of my book, responded to 1 out of every 5 text messages I’ve received, posted 1 Instagram, haven’t finished the TikTok I started, aka I spent most of my free time exclusively scrolling :)
Even the celebs are laying fairly low? I guess Timothee, Kylie, Kendall, and Timothee’s sister Pauline, star of a TT fav Sex Lives of College Girls were spotted together at TC’s house, whatever. The only thing that really interested me about this group hang is that Kylie smokes Marlboro Golds. Cla$$y !
Obviously I’ve been consumed with Scandoval. Though there’s plenty of discourse on the internet about that. I particularly love Brian Moylan’s Vulture recaps. Read this for ALLLLLLL of my thoughts, but some key takeaways below-
The BIG TWIST for me is that Tom Sandoval really is as disgusting, deceitful, and deplorable of a narcissist we thought he was. He cares exclusively cares about his image and fame. It is extremely concerning and alarming that he was actually coaching RACHEL. His delusional, psychotic thinking that he could get away with spinning it as a 1 time thing should be studied.
Raquel also should be studied. I am grateful to hear she’s sought mental evaluation. That “Bambi-Eyed Bitch” deeply needs help. Her behavior was off the charts unhinged. First she was so cold? Couldn’t even muster up a tear? Andy said he thinks she was heavily medicated filming the reunion and I believe that. The weird scene of them laughing at the end? Then in the final confessionals she’s breaking down like SHE was the one who was cheated on? Many screws loose, clinically.
Andy’s face says it all here -
At the end of the day, reiterating my sentiments from last week, I feel a deep sense of gratitude to be alive during the golden age of reality tv. I salute you, trash garbaaaaagggeeee Vanderpump ppl! Thank you, THANK YOU for your service. You’ve exceeded everyone at TT’s WILDEST expectations.
Of course like Taylor Swift who posted the above Instagram two weeks before dropping her SECOND album in 4 months during COVID - I’m really downplaying the ~not a lot going on at the moment~ I’m not, NOT comparing my Summer Revelry to recording two new original albums, just saying I’m more booked and busy than Jessica Chastain and I’m not mad about it. To quote my fav sisters, aka Haim, I’m a SUMMER GIRL! I LOVE SUMMER!!!! I love averaging 4-6 flights a month. I love reading in the sun on my roof on a Saturday afternoon. I love impromptu drinks because it’s nice out. I love sundresses, any type of spritz, and honestly I don’t hate sweating. August is the BEST MONTH OF THE YEAR, IYKYK! I love any excuse to break the extremely loose “routine” I have. Bring on those lazy, ~orange~ hazy, crazy days of summer baby!
Obvi I’ll let you know what I get up to ;)
ciao!
My favorite line: "but my j*b had me ready to mix up a big batch of bleach martinis the past two days so here we are."